No Regard

July 16, 2008

Celebrate another sports holiday by staying completely still!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Brian Murphy @ 7:50 am

Last night’s MLB All-Star Game was one for the ages. It was a lot of things, but in the end, it was fantastic.

And its end was the beginning of another one of sports’ annual holidays. We all know that people love to take the Monday after the Super Bowl off from work. The start of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament is also synonymous with low productivity.

But, of all the days in the year, today is the day in which everyone should do absolutely nothing. It’s almost required. Why? Because in the sports world, today is the day of nothing. It’s the day after the baseball All-Star game, aka THE MOST BORING DAY IN SPORTS!

What’s going on today? You’ve got day 135 of the Brett Favre drama and two minor league all-star games. That’s it. The kids over at SportsCenter must be thrilled that last night’s game turned into the baseball edition of War and Peace because at least they’ll have something to talk about.

But, you shouldn’t worry about that. You need to honor this day for the abyss that it is. Mundane to the max!

Count the pixels on your TV screen.

Organize the nickels in your house by year.

See how long you can go without blinking and then try to break that record.

I’m probably already in violation because this post is probably too stimulating for a day like this.

Barbecues and trips to the beach are strictly prohibited. Just stay in bed, facing straight up. Try not to turn. Just lie there, speechless, for the next 24 hours. Only then will you match the true spirit of this sports holiday. We’ll wake you up on Thursday, when you actually have something to pay attention to.

(Don’t) Have fun!

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